Author: Mind Cancer

Today was a long day. For a few weeks now, AJ has had me 3D printing things for the vendor day in the neighborhood. This was originally something she was supposed to do with AE, but the last time we were in Eagle Pass, she booked her final dental appointment for this same day. So it ended up being just AE and me doing the vendor day while she went to Mexico for her last visit by herself.

Sitting with AE all day in the sun trying to sell 3D printed items was not a good time, to say the least. All he wanted to do was go play with his “friends” from the neighborhood. The plan was for this to help raise money for the hunting/adventure camp he had coming up in July. Explaining to AE that this was for his camp and he needed to help wasn’t an easy task, but we made it through the day, and we actually sold out of everything.

After we wrapped up, AJ called on her way home to let me know the procedure went fine and she was headed back. Since she wasn’t familiar with the route I usually take, it ended up taking her almost 7 hours to get home.

AJ and I are back in Eagle Pass, TX for more of her procedure. This was just a quick trip. Last time, they did some extractions and put in a temporary bridge. We understood this was supposed to be the final visit, but it turned out this one was just to do a scan so they could make the permanent bridge.

Today AS gets home from TDY. I’m excited, since he’s been gone for a long time. The last time I saw him was during the west coast trip AJ and I did.

AJ and I had been planning this trip ever since I got my passport renewed and she got hers for the first time. Since we’re in Texas and Mexico isn’t far, about a 5-hour drive from the house, we decided to head to Eagle Pass, TX for the night, then cross over to Piedras Negras, Mexico the next day. It’s a small border town, and despite everything going on in Mexico, it felt safe.

Dental work is a big draw in this little town, so while we were there, we planned on getting a couple of consults done since AJ wanted some work done. One of the places told us they could start right away. We grabbed lunch at a local spot to talk it over. The food was great and the people were even better. By the end of lunch, we’d decided it was worth starting, so we went ahead with it that afternoon.

We’d originally planned to stay the day, check out the town, and have a few margaritas, but with AJ starting dental work, we ended up heading home instead.

Well the weekend was a shit show for the most part.  Saturday morning started off good and there was no chaos in the house and AE and I went out with some people in the neighborhood.  We don’t get options like that very often so when we can we jump on the opportunity.

Today was a different story through.  AJ and I went out to the local home improvement store to get some things for the back yard.  While we were gone one of AEs friends showed up at the house to see if he could play.  AJ told him it was fine, but they had to go outside.  We figured that they would just ride their scotters around and things would be fine. We get home and AE had gone into AJ’s car and got out a bow and arrow from the trunk.  He knows that he is not allowed to use it while we are at the house and that he can only use it when she takes him to the range. 

Of course, he decided to throw a fit about us taking it from him.  I am pretty sure he was just showing off for his friend but doing something unsafe is not something to get into an argument about.  It was take away and locked in the safe since he thinks he can just get it when he wants all of a sudden.  Things really started to go down hill from here.  

While AJ and I were putting the items in the back yard and setting up the vegitable garden, AE and his friend wanted to “help”.  This only means one thing.  He wanted to make a mess of everything we were trying to do. During this, AJ’s mom showes up with we are trying to get things done and making sure AE does not destroy anything that we are trying to accomplish, and AE takes one of the garden tools and starts just digging into the back yard. I get onto him about this and again he throws another fit. At this point I was so fusturated with him and his actions, I just drooped the garden tool and walked back into the house slamming the door. A short while after I went to my office to cool down, AJ’s mom and AE went to a birthday party for some of AJ’s nephews.

I am getting very tried of AJ not taking control of AE when he is acting out and when I get frustrated she blames me.  I am feeling like this relationship is so one sided it is not funny.  I can start to feel distance between AJ and I and that is unsettling.  I am growing suspicious that she is planning her exit

Things have been going fairly well at the house lately.

AJ did mention that CL is not planning to come to the seafood boil we are organizing around Easter. Apparently, he is worried that I will bring up the car and the money he owes me. I told her that if he does come, I would not bring it up, but at the same time I cannot say I am upset that he feels some pressure from the situation. He should.

I had to travel out of town for work yesterday and was gone overnight. While I was away, AJ allowed AE to sleep on the couch again. That is something they both know I cannot stand.

I do not understand why she continues to allow it, especially knowing how strongly I feel about it. It may seem like a small thing, but it slowly eats away at the trust between us.

This evening, though, was pretty rough.

We went out to dinner with one of AE’s friends. It ended up being embarrassing. AE is an extremely messy eater, and it is hard to believe at times that he is twelve. Every time we go out, it feels like the same situation.

After dinner, things got worse. AE went right back to his old behavior, likely because he was worked up and AJ would not allow his friend to spend the night. He started tearing apart a box from a model kit. When he could not break it any further, he began hitting it aggressively until he flipped it over and broke a piece off.

AJ tried to sit down and do some watercolor painting, but AE inserted himself into that as well and created more chaos.

It feels like just when things start to settle and improve, they quickly fall apart again. I have a feeling that our plans over the next few weeks are going to change, because the good days never seem to last very long.

It has been a few days since I have written anything.

Over the weekend, AJ and I worked on the flower bed in the front yard, and I think it turned out really well. We also returned the Lovesac couch she had talked me into getting. It just did not work for us. The dog hair stuck to it constantly, and the gaps between the cushions made it uncomfortable.

A couple of days ago, AJ signed the family up for a membership at the local YMCA. Last night was our first time going. It was alright. I spent some time walking on the treadmill, but AJ was not really able to get a workout in because AE would not leave her alone long enough. He eventually went into the pool and ended up hanging out with another kid, while AJ and I just sat in the lobby waiting for him to finish.

This morning I ordered a new Apple Watch. The Garmin watch has been fine, but I am tired of dealing with the charging cables. They never seem to stay connected properly, and it has become more of a hassle than it is worth. Since my Apple Watch is about four years old, it felt like a good time to upgrade to something with a better battery.

I was supposed to fly out to Springfield, Missouri for work, but those plans changed because the TSA lines were too long to make the trip practical. Since I am not flying out, I will be helping another PSM down in Houston on Thursday and will be back home on Friday.

I had planned to reach out to CL today to see if he had a plan to catch up on what he owes, but I decided not to. I am concerned that if I push him too hard, he will take it out on AJ. I think that may already be part of why she has been acting differently at home.

With the baby on the way, I expect they are going to run into even bigger issues. The car they have is already too small, and I do not see how they are going to fit three car seats in it. I had previously offered to buy the car back, but he wanted more than what he paid, which does not make sense considering he is still paying me for it. At this point, that offer is off the table. I honestly do not know how they are going to make things work, especially when no one in that household seems willing to get a job.

All in all, it was a fairly quiet day otherwise.

I gave CL a few days to think things through and come up with a plan to pay back what he owes. I did give him credit for the $1,000 that AJ gave him, even though it still does not make sense to me to take money out of the household just to turn around and put it back in.

I walked him through all of the numbers so everything was clear. His response was that he is not going to pay back the additional money I loaned him for the repairs on the car. That is not something I agree with, but at least now I know where he stands.

Since his stipend is deposited into AJ’s account, I am going to make sure that she sends me what he owes first and then gives him whatever remains. That was the original agreement, and it needs to be followed. I am also going to push for double payments until he is caught up.

At the end of our conversation, I made it clear to him that it does not make sense for me to take money out of my household to cover his responsibilities, especially when he refuses to get a job and support his own family.

On the other hand, AE has been changing. Since the conversation where I explained that AJ and I were at the point of discussing divorce, he seems to understand what is at stake. His attitude has shifted, and things around the house have been better. Everyone is getting along more, which has made a noticeable difference.

AJ seems different as well. I think she is trying right now. She has been making an effort to contribute financially to the household, which I do appreciate. I also think she understands that I have reached a point where my tolerance for everything that has been going on is gone, and I am no longer willing to accept it.

Since I told her that I would not be updating her on conversations with CL unless she specifically asks, there has been very little discussion about it between us. We did talk briefly about CL claiming that I am trying to screw him over with the car. I told her that if I really wanted to go that route, I could create a much bigger problem for him by involving law enforcement over issues like the car not being insured, along with other things that could potentially impact his standing with school or his probation.

That is not what I am trying to do. I just want him to take responsibility and follow through on what he agreed to.

I had to turn off CL’s phone today to get his attention about the money he owes me for the car and how far behind he is. I had reached out to him yesterday and got no response, so this felt like the only way to get him to engage.

When he finally responded, he said there was no way he was that far behind and dismissed the repair costs as “bullshit fees.” I explained to him that once the car was put in his name, it became his responsibility, including any repairs. That was especially true since he never followed through on getting insurance like he originally agreed.

He also claimed that AJ had been taking money out of his stipend and giving it to me, which never happened. What I did find out, though, is that on February 28, 2026, AJ gave him $1,000 to help him catch up on the car. I was not aware of this until the following day when she and I were sitting at the kitchen table talking through the issues we have been dealing with.

I told her that I felt that was unacceptable. He needs to start taking responsibility for himself. If he is old enough to have kids and build a family, then he should be able to handle his own bills without relying on her.

I also made it clear that if she continues to support him financially, I am not going to continue to accept that. It adds to the sense of betrayal I have already been dealing with, especially in light of everything that has happened in our relationship.

She agreed that she would stop supporting him financially. At this point, though, only time will tell if that actually happens.

I had a serious conversation with AE. I explained to him that the tension and ongoing conflict in the house, especially between him and me, has been putting a real strain on the relationship between AJ and me. I told him that AJ and I have even had conversations about the possibility of divorce, because no one wants to live in a home where there is constant conflict and stress.

He seemed to understand that this is not a small issue and that there is a lot at stake. I made sure he understood that his behavior and how we all interact with each other has a real impact on the household.

I also explained to him what that could mean if things were to continue the way they have been. If AJ and I were to separate, it would mean major changes. They would have to move, and our lives would no longer be connected in the same way. We would likely no longer be part of each other’s day-to-day lives.

It was not an easy conversation to have, but I felt it was important for him to understand the seriousness of the situation and how much is on the line.